He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
