Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
even my farts smell like vagina
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize