you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hippo gnu deer
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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