So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
