i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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