OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
