I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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