I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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