The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
