Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
