Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
