i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
