Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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