I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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