I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We are two peas in an std pod
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
