is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
