thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
