Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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