So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
