Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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