He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
