so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize