a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
