We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
