I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
