Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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