Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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