Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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