I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
