I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
