Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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