At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
