with your own penis?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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