Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
