oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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