I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
