Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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