Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
