I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
