im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
