I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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