so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
