Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So vagazzling was a success
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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