So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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