i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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