the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
