Already got asked if we're dating
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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