I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
