i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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