We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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