My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
