On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
