that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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