your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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