He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
