I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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