They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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