a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
