What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
