Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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