Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
