Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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