You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
