Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
