There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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