: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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