i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
